Who am I?
I’m a sex-positive cis woman who has been casually collecting chronic illnesses for the last decade or so. I also happen to have a fascination with sex and a love of sex toys. I’m passionate about sharing my love for body-safe sex toys, and about educating people about chronic illnesses and sexuality. I’ve been in a relationship with an awesome cis man for years, and he helps out and gives his feedback on toys we use together, but I strive to make all my reviews inclusive for every body.
Is this blog only for people with chronic illnesses?
Hell no! This site is, above all else, an inclusive safe space for everyone.
When my chronic illnesses began to severely affect my sex life, so I turned to the internet for answers. When I found little to no information or discussion about how being chronically ill effects one’s sex life, I was shocked. I knew I couldn’t be the only person having these problems—not when approximately half of American adults have some type of chronic health condition—and I knew the conversation had to start somewhere. So out of my love for sex toys and my desire to have an awesome sex life, regardless of my health issues, Hedonish was born.
A lot of the information categorized under ‘Chronic Illness’ could really apply to anyone. I specifically state that it’s for chronic illness to help people locate this information via search results, but I hope that many people can find the information to be helpful.
My goal? To create a site that promotes sex-positive attitudes, inclusiveness, and pleasure-based sex education for those with chronic illnesses and disabilities (and everyone else!).
Where do you get your information? Are you a doctor?
I am not a doctor. Actually, I work as a graphic designer but I learned early on when my health issues started the being your own advocate is an important aspect to getting the medical help you need, especially when it comes to a rare disease that many of my doctors tell me they “think they remember learning about in medical school.” Someone has to be well-educated, and if it’s not going to be the doctor, it’s going to have to be me.
The majority of my information comes from published medical journals, mostly gathered from PubMed, and I link to my resources throughout the article. I generally do a lot of research, speak to doctors, etc. to make sure I’m only sharing accurate information. If anyone finds any inaccuracies in something I’ve written, please contact me so that I can fix any errors— it’s important to me that the medical information I share be correct.
That being said, I’m not a doctor. Nothing I write is meant as medical advice, and you should always speak to your doctor about any medical concerns you have.
About My Body
What works for one person doesn’t alway work for someone else. It’s exactly why it’s a good thing there are so many great sex bloggers out there—we all have different bodies, and experience toys and sex differently. It’s also why I think it’s helpful to tell you a bit about how my body works.
I spent years feeling like my body was “broken” because I couldn’t always orgasm or what felt good to me seemingly changed minute to minute, but I’ve realized for me that IS normal.
I can definitively tell you that no matter what diagnosis you have or what your issues are, that you’re not broken either.
My vulva has always been pretty picky, but recently I was diagnosed with vulvodynia (vulva pain) and lichen simplex (an inflammatory skin condition) that we haven’t quite gotten control over yet. It’s getting better with the proper medications, but some days it’s more of an issue than others.
Although I have a few other chronic conditions as well, my primary (the one that causes me the most problems) condition is a Mast Cell Disease. Among other things, mast cell diseases can cause me to develop sensitivities (like allergies) to normal everyday things, even things I’ve used for years. For this reason, I avoid products I’ve had allergic reactions to, which includes any toys that aren’t body safe, latex products, anything with chemicals/fragrances, and most lubes. The mast cell disease also does weird things to my nerves, and every once in a while I’ll suddenly have significantly less sensation in certain places than I do the rest of the time.
Have questions or want to learn about my conditions, what it’s like living with chronic illnesses, or need other advice or opinions? Feel free to contact me and ask, or work with me—I’m available for consulting as well!
How do you review toys with vulva pain?
As you can imagine, this makes life as a sex blogger a bit more colorful, but I’ll keep you informed in my reviews about what I’ve been experiencing so there’s a frame of reference. When, where, and how much things are uncomfortable changes pretty frequently so I test toys multiple times to write the best-informed reviews possible. I also usually include in my reviews if I’m having a specific symptom that I felt affected my experience using a toy, and if that changes in the future—even after the review is done—I’ll go back to update it.